HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Starting Over

Are you excited and overwhelmed?

Crisis is inevitable. Whether you are the person that sets up your life to avoid unforeseen problems or the person that just lets life unfold, you will experience loss, grief, transitions, and crises. 

Most people are wired to avoid pain, not run straight into it. While some enjoy the adrenaline rush of crises, most people do not. You want to have predictability, some control in life, even if you suspect it’s an illusion. Crises, when it’s happening, interrupts whatever stability you had and is emotionally and physically taxing to your supply of energy. It can also threaten your sense of hope and future relief from pain and suffering.

Crisis and Opportunity

This is the bad rap of crisis. It also has an amazingly transformative side. Persevering through a crisis, coming out the other side, changes you. You learn about yourself, your abilities, your depth. People have the capacity to deepen their empathy for their self and others, by having gone through something really hard.

Having this experience, of going through something, separates out a lot of people. People who’ve had a lot of loss, often feel out of place with their peers, who haven’t. Crisis changes you and can also make you feel lonely, out of place. You truly have to start over. You are different now and you are building a new life from that core place. Often, you might feel a stirring to develop new backdrops to your “new self,”  new surroundings, friends, hobbies, spouse, to reflect your new lease on life.

This period of starting over, the golden light emanating from the season of shadows, is beautiful. Full of hope, love and promise. It’s the gift you are given from your ability to persevere when things were bleak, scary or hard.

Working with yourself, you can:

  • Recognize the crisis, even if it was long ago.
  • Process the emotions that you didn’t have the luxury to deal with as you were dealing with the crisis moments.
  • Exploring how the crisis changed you. Softening any residual scar tissue.
  • Rebuild from the ground up, dreaming of how you want your life to be.

When you don’t resolve crises well, you are likely to live, even for decades, in a state of suspended animation. You can stay confused about what happened, feel victimized by or conversely, carry the burden of guilt and shame.

However, when you resolve a crisis well, you will walk towards your future with a lighter emotional load, feeling entitled to be proud of yourself and hopeful about your future. You deserve to give yourself this investment.

It’s fascinating how sometimes we can be so unfamiliar with these fundamental areas of our own selves simply because we never thought to look deeper.

What’s Next for Me?

Your own self knowledge is your most powerful asset in life. Stimulate the conversation with yourself and your loved ones.

Begin by asking yourself:

  • How important are my feelings on this subject to me?
  • Am I being mean to myself?
  • Do I need support?

Read our E-book Love Sex Trust: A Guide

Let it all simmer, until you’re ready for more.

TESTIMONIALS

Not a Do It Yourself Type?

Private Couples Retreat. No groups, just you, your partner and the therapist.

Based on 20 years of experience, incorporating a straightforward, research oriented model, allowing couples to get away from daily life, and in concentrated blocks of time, resolve sexual, conflict and emotional issues, finding a way forward together or apart.

Creating solutions for happy sexuality and close relationships.

On location or via teleconference.

Learn More