Are your feelings buried way, way deep down?
Working with couples, it’s very common to see a pairing where one partner who outwardly “worries a lot,” and the other one, is “chill,” less reactive and collected. To the untrained eye it may seem like the tightly wound partner has the issue with anxiety. By looking deeper, it’s more often the case that anxiety is usually a feeling they have in common, although the way it’s presented is different.
For instance, I’m clearly a chihuahua, shaking for no reason, constantly needing reassurance and my husband is like a St. Bernard or Irish Wolfhound, calm and predictable, seemingly unshaken. People think he’s so cool, like he hasn’t a care in the world. It’s not his fault. His internal feelings don’t register easily to his conscious mind. He often doesn’t know that he’s feeling something.