Do you feel powerful within yourself and connected to your partner?
Femininity is Sociological
Femininity, the qualities attributed to a female, is deeply personal, however, your culture influences the content you choose to use to define yourself. Often, when talking about masculinity or femininity, the conversation stays on politics of terminology, or on value judgements of each side, as if there is a competition, “Men are all like _____” “Women are _____.” The conclusions drawn are often simplistic and judgmental, but it’s also understandable. Masculine or feminine doesn’t exist on an island, it’s embedded in the larger historical, political, legal, religious, and economic context.
I understand why both females and males get reactive about each other’s reactions. You get judged, oppressed and privileged via your societal gender identification, so, of course, it comes loaded with implications. It’s important to be aware of these embedded within your own identity and that of your partner. In fact, conflict is typically the means you use to get to and unpack these underlying sensitive issues.
However, the position of having or not having power in our society, is only one part of a person. There’s much more going on deeper inside– feeling wise– but that often doesn’t get addressed.
Feminine power is valuable
Feeling power, having influence in your life, is a vital human need. It’s a foundation for feeling confident. If you don’t have any means of gaining influence in your own life, if you have no status or have been ignored or silenced, you have likely learned indirect means to feel a sense of power.
I’ve been studying direct feminine empowerment and indirect power, which I call latent feminine aggression, for a long time. As a feminist, I believe in equal value and respect for men, women and everything in between. There are abusive men and women alike, and to respect a person, you have to try and understand them from their point of view as the starting point.
In studying female psychology, similar to men, I am an advocate for a deeper conversation around what doesn’t get translated, positive and negative, around feminine power.